Hey there Everyone!
So yesterday Jeff sent me this link to an article on www.petapixel.com and I just wanted to share my thoughts on it.
As a professional who shoots a lot of weddings every year, and as a generally well rounded human being I have to say I am inclined to agree with this article! I mean, why should you feed us on your wedding day? Everyone knows that we just sit around waiting for the bride to get ready, plus even when we are working, all we're doing is pressing a button anyway right?
Everyone knows that we typically don't roll out of bed until AT LEAST 6 AM on your wedding day, and most days we're ready to call it quits and go home by around 2 AM. So what's 17 hours without food? My great grandfather used to do that, he called them weekdays.
I mean, we're adults, you shouldn't have to worry yourself with whether or not we're fed or starving. Besides, I'm sure we can scramble to grab some of the rice that you're guests threw during your exit of the chapel and brush the dirt off of it before we head out to do your formal portraits.
But just look at some of the amazing images we're able to get during that time!
I was having a bit of trouble seeing what was in frame due to malnutrition, but like 60% of the image is great, so you get the idea.
and what does it matter if every image you receive from us is in focus, I mean, isn't the memory of being photographed the best treasure from having a professional at your wedding? It's the sensation of someone pointing their camera at you and hearing that shutter click down, that's why people hire us, right?
Having a professional at your wedding should mean they should just be super human and withstand the natural function of needing to eat, when we get our professional status we go in for surgery to get a bionic stomach that can withstand any time period without food. We just need to click a button and hope that it turns out okay anyway, It doesn't matter if you all look like yourselves in the final products, because you saved a couple of dollars by not needing to set a plate for us.
So please, save the few dollars you might have spent on seating us at a table, we'll just stand in the corner and twiddle our thumbs while the dinner service is happening, or better yet we'll try to take a photograph of Uncle Jim while he has his face stuffed with mashed potatoes and let him punch us in the face for embarrassing him. Either way, it'll will be a wonderful time!
If you found this article disrespectful or offensive, please just remember that this is satire, it is meant to poke fun at the idea in a poignant and playful way. We don't need food during your wedding day, it's not required as we CAN find our own sources of food, we are not children. It is just kind, and respectful to offer the person who is capturing the moments of the most important day of your life, a plate of food. It is just a kind gesture to say 'Hey, we bought a cheese plate for the girls while they get ready, would you like some because you're working hard and are helping us make our special day, so much more exciting.' It's called being respectful of other peoples work, and of other peoples feelings. Nothing more, nothing less.