I am a complicated human being, like most of us are. I get angry for reasons I can't explain, I get sad sometimes and sit in the bottom of my shower for two hours wondering why I exist. I have loved people more than I could explain, I've hurt people in my life by being cold, and forgetful. I have put my love for a woman over my love for art. I have been pursued, prescribed, and promoted through a 9-5 job that I've learned to love.
I have lost, searched, and discovered myself time and time again. I have felt both physical and emotional pain that I would not put on my worst enemy. I have broken bones, broken hearts, and I am at my core; broken. I feel like my understanding of my own brain is never going to be something I grasp. I have not always told the truth, nor have I ever lied when it hasn't been required. I have been a piece of shit to the people I love from time to time.
My name is Allan James Brunke, I am 25 years old. I work a mid-level management job at a fast-food franchise to support my habits, and I actually thoroughly enjoy it. I am a wedding photographer, I make peoples perfect days seem even more perfect with a few fancy tricks and a knowledge of lighting and angles. I work 85 hour weeks between three different lives. I don't sleep more than 4 hours a night typically. I am one of the most motivated and productive people I have ever met, and I am also the most self hating and sad person I have ever met some days. I am a regular guy, who is just as broken and as cliche as any 25 year old man. I may hate myself some days, but I absolutely fucking love what I do every single day. I love waking up every day. I have had many different lives in the past 15 years of my existence. I was a no good teenager, I was a professional wrestler, I was the weird kid who wore clothes three sizes to big for him and got dropkicked off of stages during school plays. I'm the one who wrote a three page letter demanding my highschool vice-principal step down from her position and anonymously rocked 'the establishment' from the inside. No matter how many different bridges I burn, how many groups of friends I seem to transition through, one thing has always been there for me. My work.
Until the day that I die, or the day I go blind in both of my eyes, I will have my work. My family can pry my camera out of my lifeless hand because I will want to be facing a window and photographing my surroundings when I take my last breath. Through every single thing I face, my camera will always be with me, my work ethic will always be strong, and I will constantly love what I do.